


Story of my Life - Kim Shepard

by wicked3659



Series: Mass Effect Trilogy [1]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Mass Effect 1, Other, Reapers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-06-12 23:16:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15350904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wicked3659/pseuds/wicked3659
Summary: Is this the end of Shepard or is it just the beginning?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired after playing the games through completely. I'm on my third complete play through within 8 months half way through ME3...again. I became obsessed. This is my Shepard's story as I played her. 
> 
> There'll be minor canon divergence. 
> 
> This is my very first Mass Effect fix, nervously and tentatively posting, I'm hoping I'll write up all three games if you guys like it. See how work and studying treats me. 
> 
> Enjoy! (Hopefully). 
> 
> I do not own any of the characters, they are all property of Bioware and the original game writers. I just wanted to join in the fun.

 

**_Prologue: The End of the Beginning_ **

 

**_“Don't know when I'll be back again so hold me close and don't ever let me go”_ **

Cold. 

Not the cold that fills you with glee as you roll up snow in your hands. Nor the cold of a cool, clear, crisp winter morning, your breath a frozen fog escaping your lips. It was a coldness that seeped into your bones, made them ache. A feeling that lingered, so deep that shivering would never help. She remembered this cold. 

This was the cold of dying. 

Tumbling through space. Free falling. Unable to breathe. The sound of her lungs gasping for air as her suit vented into the inky black void that enveloped her. The planet growing larger as she tumbled in its gravity. Intense burning. No! That was wrong! She had lived, hadn't she?

She had died. Images flashed rapidly through her mind. Waking up, Miranda, Cerberus, the Alliance, the collectors, the Normandy SR 2. The reapers were coming! 

Coming! 

No. The Reapers were here. 

Choices. Such difficult choices. Grief for those she couldn't save and a heartache that never eased. Garrus, her crew, had they gotten out in time? Joker wouldn't have let the Normandy fall, not again. She remembered the impossible choice. Anderson, the betrayal of the Illusive man. A desperate need to control. A decision. Her decision. The fate of the galaxy. The fate of trillions, all depending on her decision. 

Earth, it was beautiful, shining, blue. 

Burning. 

Blue like his armour, his colony markings, his eyes. Oh, how she had lost herself in those eyes. 

Burning blue. Burning!

No! Garrus! 

She would not let the reapers destroy everything she had fought for, everything she held dear. Everything she had died for.

The deep cold gave way to burning, ceaseless agony. Her brain screamed for release as she chose to end the reapers. She was the harbinger of their destruction.

Destroy. 

The decision had been made. All synthetic life gone. Killed by her decision. EDI!  Oh please not EDI! Joker would never forgive her. Perhaps they had figured out how to save her? She wept as their faces gazed at her, their belief in her, shining in their eyes. She had chosen and his face and those beautiful burning blue eyes had been the last thing she had seen before the end. 

The end was surprisingly cold and heavy, so heavy it threatened to crush her. Would it always be this way? Endless cold, heavy, nothingness. At least there was no longer any pain. She had wished to see them one last time, to see him, to share one last kiss. Yet, she knew he would live, have a chance to have a life beyond this terrible nightmare of a war. Beyond the reapers. There was solace in that, as much as it broke her heart. She hated breaking her promise but she was so tired. 

The air was so thin here, she was gasping, choking on thick dust that filled her lungs with every breath. Was she even still breathing? That was impossible, of course, she had faced the explosion. Remembered the end. Perhaps this was the final misfiring neurons of her brain as the spark went out.

She could always meet him at the bar.

****

**_Earth: Ground Zero - Site of the Collapse of Citadel/Crucible_ **

“We found something!” the Alliance soldier waved over to his unit and a paramedic and he stood back as he let the emergency personnel do their jobs. Flicking open his recently repaired omni tool he sent a quick message to Admiral Hackett. Small electronics like omni tools had been the first things fixed within a week of the firing of the crucible. Everything else would take months maybe longer, if at all, in the case of the relays. There was no way to know if it would even reach the Admiral with the relays destroyed. He sent it to the nearest Alliance base for relay. It would have to be piggy-backed across the system using old, ancient technology. There was no way of knowing how long it would take.

_ To: Admiral Hackett _

_ Time stamp: 2187 CE January 21 _

_ Ground zero: Commander Shepard located.  _

_ Condition: critical  _

_ Will keep updated. _

The paramedics ignored him. “Life signs?” 

“Shallow breathing, massive internal bleeding, second degree burns fucking everywhere, part of her armour has melted, too many lacerations to count. Pupils unresponsive. We need an evac now!”

“Transport inbound,” the soldier declared.

“ETA?” 

“Twenty minutes. It's coming from the UAE.” 

“Fuck! We need to get her stabilised, set up a temporary IV or she won't be needing that transport. Get those Krogan to move these beams. They're crushing her. We need plasma and blood donations now!” 

The soldier leaned over, unable to see much of the commander, she seemed so small, not what he had expected. “Shit, her eyes just opened!” 

A face, blurry, unfamiliar filled the vision of white sky. “Don't worry, Commander. I've got you.” 

The words were familiar, she felt herself drifting and heard them in his voice, rich and resolute, the lower trill of his subharmonics vibrating through her as she held him close. His arms squeezing painfully tight around her. As long as she kept hold it would be alright. Everything faded to black and the warmth of his body evaporated. She felt a tightness grip her throat, her chest heaved in panic. No! Not yet! His words echoed in her mind.

“Fuck she's coding!”

_ “I've got you.”  _

****

**_Normandy SR2 - location unknown_ **

“EDI!” Joker yelled as EDI’s voice cut out and her body went limp. The ship rocked and shook violently. He managed to get them through the final mass relay EDI had programmed into the helm, before it exploded behind them. The shockwave licked at the aft plating of the ship. “Navigation is shot! We’re going down!” 

Garrus simply held onto the pilot's seat with a death grip as the Normandy barrelled forward and nose dived towards a lush green world. 

“Everybody hold onto something!” Joker warned. His fingers flew over the controls, trying to maintain control as consoles blew behind them and sparks filled the cockpit. 

Garrus stared down at the world looming larger in front of them. The green only reminded him of that last moment. Her eyes locked with his. 

_ “I love you.”  _

If this was it, he wanted his last thought, the last image in his mind to be of her. “I'll be waiting at that bar,” he thought to himself as he closed his eyes and braced for impact. He could feel her hand on his face, thumb caressing over the scar covering his mandible. Her green eyes shining at him with determination and steely resolve, yet filled with a deep softness she reserved only for him. Her smile quirked up on one side. Still, he remembered the sadness that had been swimming in the green that she had been unwilling to acknowledge. He would be with her soon, spirits willing. 

“Ohh shiiiit!” Joker hollered before Garrus’ world went dark. 


	2. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprising promotion and a new crew. All in a day's work.

“If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied   
Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs   
If there's no one beside you   
When your soul embarks   
Then I'll follow you into the dark.”

 

Chapter 1: The Beginning

**_Normandy docked at The Citadel - 2183_ **

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Kim Shepard rubbed her face roughly. Fifteen hours, she had been unconscious, Dr. Chakwas had given her a clean bill of health and had told her to come back should she get any hallucinations or headaches. She was fine she told herself. The images from the Prothean beacon would fade. It didn't matter that she could see them every time she closed her eyes. None of it made any kind of sense but it filled her with a deep dread in the pit of her stomach.

“Get it together, Kim,” she told herself, patting down the stray red-auburn strands of her short bobbed hair. The mission wasn't for nothing, Nihlus’ death wouldn't be in vain. Saren would pay. She just hoped that the council would listen.

“Commander, Captain Anderson is waiting at the airlock. We've arrived at the Citadel.”

“On my way, Joker,” Shepard replied more tersely than she had meant to. Taking a deep breath she checked over her armour, grabbed her rifle and marched out of her quarters.

Kaidan Alenko and Ashley Williams gave her a nod as she met them and together they stepped onto the Citadel. Anderson had gone on ahead to try and placate Ambassador Udina so they headed up to the Citadel Tower. Shepard heard Ashley commenting on the beauty and scale of the Citadel before her and Kaidan started murmuring about how the council had to listen. Saren couldn't be allowed to get away with what he'd done. Shepard did not share their confidence but kept it to herself. The council was not known for making things easy, especially not when it questioned the authority they had placed in of one of their appointed spectres.

Upon reaching the tower the three soldiers paused as a heated argument threatened to erupt between two Turians. Shepard caught Saren’s name and listened attentively while attempting to not appear too obvious. The C-Sec officer was blatantly shot down by his superior whom she recognised as Executor Pallin, having spoken to him earlier.

“I need more time. Stall the council?”

“Stall the council? This is ridiculous! No, Garrus, this has taken up too much of your time already. There is not enough evidence on Saren. You need to let this go. The case is closed.”

Shepard watched Pallin march away while the officer looked momentarily unsure of himself before he noticed them. Straightening, the officer strode confidently over to them and tilted his head slightly in greeting. “Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec, you must be Commander Shepard.”

The Commander quirked up an eyebrow at that. “Do I know you?”

“No, but you have quite the reputation Commander,” Garrus continued. “I know you're here about Saren, I hope you have better luck with the council than I have.”

“You're investigating Saren? He's a Turian why do you want to take him down?” Shepard asked curiously. Unlike most humans she knew, Kim didn't feel a resentment or dislike for Turians. Her mother, Admiral Shepard had always disapproved of her curiosity in other species more so since aliens had killed her father and almost her on Mindoir but that had never stopped Kim. She could tell this Turian was frustrated. His icy blue eyes met her gaze as he studied her in return, his mandibles drawn in tightly.

“Was. My investigation is hampered by the bureaucratic red tape and the fact that he is a spectre, everything he touches is classified, it makes him practically untouchable,” Garrus couldn't prevent the frustrated low growl of his subharmonics as he spoke. The humans unsurprisingly given their limited hearing range didn't notice. “I couldn't get close enough but I knew what was going on. He is a traitor to the council and a disgrace to my kind.”

“We have evidence that he's gone rogue,” Shepard stated simply. “Perhaps that will add some weight to your investigation.”

“Rogue?”

“Yeah working with the Geth, looks like he killed Nihlus Kyrik too,” she frowned deeply.

“The spectre?” Garrus’ mandibles flared in surprise. “Spirits, you have proof?”

“A witness,” Williams spoke up tersely, not entirely comfortable with the Turian officer.

“Commander!” Udina barked impatiently from the stairway.

Flitting her gaze to the ambassador, Shepard pursed her lips ever so slightly. “I should go.”

“Yes, the council are waiting, good luck, Commander,” Garrus wished graciously as the soldiers passed him.

Shepard glanced over her shoulder at the Turian and threw him a faint smirk. “Thanks, stick around, see if anything helps your investigation.”

Garrus inclined his helm slightly in gratitude and watched them leave. Commander Shepard in the flesh, he mused. He had heard much about the rumoured human candidate for spectre, most of it hearsay. She had not been what he had expected from the supposed ruthless butcher of Torfan, however. He had imagined her to at least be taller. He had intended to stay and listen to the council hearing but his Omni tool suddenly beeped with an urgent message. Cursing softly, Garrus cast one lingering look back towards the retreating Alliance soldiers before heading down the steps.

****

Shepard bit the inside of her lip as each council member dismissed their claims, because of their ‘unreliable witness’ and Saren himself, appearing as a hologram, laughed in their faces. Anderson’s mention of the vision the beacon had thrust upon her, only seemed to weaken their case. She seethed as Udina beside her bristled with barely restrained contempt. Marching from the meeting in frustration, Saren still at large and still a spectre, Shepard took Udina's advice to look for the Turian, Officer Vakarian from earlier. If he had any evidence that could strengthen their claim she would use it. In order to find him, first, they had to find another suspended C-Sec officer, Harkin.

The Citadel, for all its beauty, was a maze. The rapid transport system helped some but finding Harkin in Chora’s den was a little more difficult. Not helped by the surprise attack from two assassins.

“Who do you think hired them?” Kaidan grunted as he glared down at the two felled bodies.

Shepard gritted her teeth. “Could be any number of people. I haven't always been so charming,” she quipped darkly. “My money's on Saren.”

“He must really consider you a threat then,” Ashley pointed out grimly.

Nodding, Shepard holstered her pistol and scowled. “I am,” she declared. “We just need to find that evidence. Come on.”

Leading the way into Chora’s den, Shepard, scanned the dark room and found the man she was looking for. “Harkin?”

“Hey, Commander Shepard right? You're easier on the eye in person,” Harkin leered at her and swallowed a mouthful of whisky.

“It appears my reputation precedes me,” she stated, putting a hand on her hip.  

Harkin shrugged. “Candidate for the first human spectre, the Butcher of Torfan, I'd have to have been living under a rock to not know who you are,” Harkin smirked, ignoring the increasingly tense soldiers beside Shepard.

Holding up her hand to calm Alenko and Williams, Shepard took a step forward. “Heard you could point me in the direction of a Turian, Officer Garrus Vakarian?”

Harkin snorted. “What could you want from him. I promise you I am way more fun.”

“Can you help me or not?”

“Sure, fine, he went to the med clinic to see a Dr Michel, heard she had information on Saren. He's a hot-head, always arguing with Pallin, obsessed with getting something to pin on Saren, surprised they haven't booted him from C-Sec. Probably helps that his father is a decorated C-Sec veteran,” he shrugged.

“Thanks,” Shepard replied, Not wanting to spend more time in this bitter man's company than she had to. She'd come across plenty like him in her time.

“Shame you don't want to stick around got plenty I could tell you about a certain Captain Anderson too,” he smirked as she stared him down. “Let's just say you're not the first human candidate for spectre,” he took a swig of his drink. “Ask him if you don't believe me.”

Shepard didn't have time for this. Choosing to ignore Harkin, for now, she made her way to the clinic.

“Do you think it's true what he said about the Captain?” Kaidan asked quietly as they walked.

Shepard spared him a glance. “Not something I've heard, Lt,” she answered diplomatically. “The Captain has had a long career with the Alliance. I'm sure he would have mentioned it.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan replied, seemingly appeased.

Shepard chewed her lip as they walked. ‘Why wouldn't he have told me?’ she thought to herself, quashing the slight hurt she felt if it was true. They had known each other a long time, he had become something of a father figure since she joined the Alliance, having known her mother even longer. The thought was immediately pushed from her mind though as they entered the clinic and saw the Dr being grabbed roughly by thugs and Garrus Vakarian crouched behind cover.

“Drop it!” Shepard commanded, drawing her pistol and aiming steadily at the man.

Without warning, Garrus used the distraction and a single shot rang out. The thug dropped like a stone with a hole between his eyes. Alenko and Williams finished off the other two thugs easily.

Shepard stepped forward to make sure the Dr was alright before rounding on the approaching Turian. “What were you thinking?” she demanded.

“I… What?” Garrus stammered, slightly taken aback.

“Taking risks like that around civilians is irresponsible,” Shepard declared hotly. “You could have shot the Dr.”

Garrus canted his head mildly apologetic and gestured to the downed thug, a slightly smug drawl to his tone. “As you can see, I did not.”

“It was a damn good shot,” Shepard conceded, the heat fading from her tone and Garrus could have sworn that was a smirk on her lips. “That doesn't negate the risk.”

She turned away from him, back to the Dr before he could respond. Fierce little human and a surprising attitude, given what he knew of her, he thought with vague curiosity. He was impressed by how she had switched from commanding to complementary to concerned in a matter of seconds. Feeling suitably cowed, he stepped up to listen to Dr. Michel telling Shepard about Fist and his connections to Saren and a Quarian who apparently had something on the spectre.

“The shadow broker hired a Krogan to take out Fist,” Garrus interjected. “We could use him.”

Shepard nodded thoughtfully. “Will you be alright?” she asked the Dr.

“Yes, thanks to you both,” she nodded gratefully.

Shepard gave the order to move out before Garrus placed a hand on her shoulder. “Let me join you, I can help and I want to take out Saren as much as you do.” He waited as Shepard regarded him with interest.

“Think you could pull off another shot like that stunt you just pulled while covering my six, while also under heavy fire?”

Garrus’ mandibles flared slightly in a smirk. “Without a doubt.”

“Going to be dangerous, life-threatening even,” Shepard pointed out dryly.

Garrus let out a soft chuckle, his subharmonics trilling faintly with the excitement of maybe actually getting somewhere, of finally being listened to. What was a bit of danger if it led him to bringing Saren down? “Count me in, Shepard, I've got your six.”

“I'll hold you to that, Officer Vakarian,” Shepard smirked. She ordered Ashley back to the Normandy, despite the gunnery sergeant's almost protest and continued on with Kaidan and Garrus. The latter pointedly ignoring uneasy glances from the human Lt.

****

Finding the Krogan Wrex had been easy enough and he had been more than willing to join them in looking for Fist. Kaidan, however, had viscerally protested her order to return to the ship. Kim had a lot of respect for Kaidan but he could be somewhat overbearing when it came to her and his obvious dislike for leaving her with two aliens, simply rubbed her the wrong way. She had had to put up with enough prejudice from her mother alone to last a lifetime.

Approaching Chora’s den, Shepard stopped and turned on the two aliens who flanked her. “When you're with me, you follow my orders, clear?” she declared.

Garrus regarded her with interest, her tone and posture screamed authority, not unlike a Turian General, but in her eyes, he saw the unspoken need for mutual trust in this situation. He gave her a slight nod. “I'm with you, Shepard.”

Wrex grunted an affirmation. “Lead the way.”

Satisfied, Shepard turned and drew her pistol. Chora’s den was suspiciously quiet. Stepping inside, urgent shouts caught her attention. Ducking behind a chair as the men opened fire she swore softly. Nothing was ever simple. She fired a couple of rounds into the closest attacker and vaulted over the chair, skidding to a halt beside an overturned table.

Garrus covered Shepard’s six as he promised but cursed when she put herself right in the line of fire. He took out the man to her right before he could even clip her shields while Wrex took on the Krogan.

Shepard targeted the man on top of the bar and finally stood when the room went quiet. Nodding to her team she headed over to the next room. Her weapon still out she stared down two nervous looking armed workers. “You can either be in the wrong place at the wrong time or you can live,” she declared aiming her pistol at them.

Garrus shared an impressed glance with Wrex when the men chose to flee. All thoughts of success, however, were subsequently obliterated by the rapid fire of turrets inside the room as the doors opened.

Shepard went in first, throwing herself recklessly into cover and overloading the first turret, before being pinned by the second.

Garrus hung back by the door and pulled out his rifle. He caught Shepard’s gaze, noting how the turret was concentrating on her and decided to use that to his advantage. He nodded imperceptibly before he rounded the corner and fired two rounds into the turret. It sputtered and sparked, useless.

The three of them rounded on Fist who was backed up against the wall. “Please don't kill me!”

Putting Fist down with a punch, Shepard pointed her pistol at him. “The Quarian?” Shepard demanded. “Tell me where she is.”

“She would only speak to the Shadow Broker. There's a meeting soon behind the markets here but there'll be assassins waiting for her. You're probably not too late?” he offered meekly.

“How long to get there?” Shepard looked at Garrus expectantly.

“Five minutes give or take,” he answered.  “Hopefully we can get to her in time.”

Shepard nodded and turned back to Fist on the floor who snivelled up at her. “You will let me go, yeah?”

A shot rang out and both Shepard and Garrus stared at Wrex. The Krogan simply shrugged. “I was hired to kill him. Job’s done.”

Shepard had no response to that. As much as she didn't approve, the inner workings of underground Citadel politics were none of her concern. “Let's go we're wasting time.”

****

Taking out the assassins had been easier than getting to Fist but it had been a close call. A minute later and the Quarian would have been dead.

“You alright?” Shepard asked, approaching the Quarian.

“Yes, thank you, I should have known Fist wasn't to be trusted. Keelah, if you hadn't shown up when you did…”

“You're alright now,” Shepard reassured, placing a hand on the Quarian’s shoulder. “What's your name?”

“Tali’Zorah nar Rayya, I am on my pilgrimage from the flotilla.”

“I heard you had data that could expose the spectre Saren?”

The Quarian nodded. “Yes, I am willing to share, it's the least I can do.”

“Let's hear it,” Shepard prompted.

Garrus took a step toward Shepard, his voice a little lower. “Perhaps it would be best to continue this in your ambassador’s office. If Saren is willing to kill over this…” he left the rest of the implication unsaid.

Shepard agreed and led the way. The determination she had to bring Saren to justice was now fuelled by a very real hope that they potentially had the evidence to at least make the council pay attention. If Saren was willing to kill the Quarian then it had to be pretty damning.

****

Ambassador Udina, pinched his nose and spared Anderson a pointed look before glaring at Shepard. “You aren't making things easy for me, Shepard. Firefights in the wards, an all out assault on Chora’s Den. Do you know how many people--” he stopped himself and stared at the eclectic bunch in front of him. The Turian and Krogan he knew of but the Quarian. He gestured to her. “Who is this?”

Shepard glanced at Tali. “You asked me to get evidence against Saren, I believe she can help us. Tali, show him what you know.”

Udina held up a hand before she started speaking. “From the beginning. If we're going to take anything to the council, we need to make sure our stories are straight.”

Garrus listened as Tali explained who she was and how she'd come by the data from a Geth data core. His gaze subtly drifted to Shepard who was standing with her arms folded, her very human mouth pursed in concentration. For a human, she was surprisingly difficult to read. He had always been taught that humans talked too much and expressed too much, they were extremely unstable and emotional beings. Yet, Shepard laughed in the face of his preconceived notions with her behaviour alone. She intrigued him and had already proven herself in a fight. From what he had gleaned from her record he knew she was a soldier known for getting the job done. She had been described as ruthless, calculating and yet he had seen the concern and measured restraint from her a number of times in the short time since he had asked to join her. He could only wonder about the responsibilities on her shoulders and the decisions she had had to make to get her to be considered for spectre. From his own brief experience as a potential spectre candidate, it was a consideration not taken lightly.

His attention returned to the conversation when Tali played the audio file. The voice was clearly Saren’s, the other voice he didn't recognise but the evidence of the spectre’s treachery was clear. The mention of Reapers threw him until Shepard spoke up.

“The Prothean beacon showed me flashes of this. Synthetic life waging a war against organic life, Reapers, that's starting to make more sense.”

Garrus’ eyes widened in surprise, she had received a vision from a 50,000-year-old beacon and it hadn’t fried her brain?

Anderson shook his head. “That's irrelevant. We need to get this to the council. It's clear Saren is guilty of being a traitor.”

Udina agreed, ordering Shepard to follow him to the tower.

“What about the Quarian?” Garrus asked quietly.

Shepard looked at Tali curiously. “You seem to have knowledge of the Geth that could help me fight them if you're willing you can join me in taking down Saren and stopping these Geth attacks.

Tali didn't hesitate before agreeing and Shepard gave her a brief, grateful smile before they followed the ambassador out.

****

Garrus couldn't help but feel a little nervous as they approached the council. “I haven't even watched a council hearing before,” he marvelled quietly, walking beside Shepard, with Tali and Wrex on her right a few steps behind Udina and Anderson.

Shepard cast him a vaguely amused glance. “You deserve to be here. Wouldn't even be having this meeting if you hadn't helped,” she stated graciously. “I promise it's not that exciting,” she added wryly.

His mandibles flared slightly in a grateful smile, he was not used to being appreciated for his efforts, especially in C-Sec. Luckily he was saved from responding when the council addressed their evidence.

The council could no longer deny Saren's guilt and immediately revoked his spectre status. They refused, however, to send a fleet after him at Udina’s insistence. Instead made the excuse of trying to prevent a war with the terminus systems.

Shepard had grown increasingly frustrated and stepped forward pointing an angry finger at the council. “We wouldn't be in this position if you had listened to us in the first place. Fine. Don't send a fleet, send me, I'll bring him in, one way or another.”

The counsellors seemed to disagree on something with the Turian shaking his head.

“You can send everyone away happy,” Shepard continued, determined to push them into action, straightening as she raised her voice to be heard. “Udina can have his spectre and you don't have to send a fleet after Saren. A spectre has the authority of the council making it easier to get to Saren without creating conflict in the Terminus systems.”

Even the Turian counsellor couldn't argue with that logic and conceded.

“Step forward Commander Shepard,” the Asari counsellor ordered.

Garrus watched with no small amount of awe as the first human spectre was appointed. He was watching history in the making. Shepard to her credit, took it in her stride. She stood to attention and vowed to uphold the ideals the council represented. Garrus’ sharp hearing picked up enthralled murmuring from around the tower from the crowds that had gathered to watch. Though he couldn't blame them.

Udina left soon after with Anderson to get things moving. Shepard turned to face her new team and rubbed the back of her neck. “Well that was more dramatic than I like,” she quipped with a faint smirk.

Garrus could tell she was embarrassed at the attention as Tali congratulated her and decided to play it down. “What now, Shepard?” he asked simply.

She shot Garrus a grateful glance, glad to have some focus back. “We go speak to Anderson before we head back to the Normandy. It's straightforward, you can all go straight to the Normandy.”

“If it's all the same, I'll stick with you for now,” Garrus replied not entirely certain about what he would be greeted by when stepping unescorted onto an Alliance vessel. Turians and the Alliance did not exactly have the best history.

Wrex rumbled his congratulations. “First human spectre, interested to see how it plays out. Besides, don't think your human crew would appreciate a Krogan marching onto their ship without at least an escort,” he added lightly, echoing Garrus’ thoughts, much to the Turian's surprise.

Shepard let out a short laugh. “Point made. Tali?”

“I am happy to go to the ship. I would love to take a look at her engines. I've heard she's state of the art,” she enthused.

Shepard smiled at her. “I'll let Joker know you're coming.”

****

Shepard was unhappy about the turn of events at the docks and she could tell Anderson was too. Out of respect for him, she waited until Udina had left them alone then she took the Captain to one side while Garrus and Wrex waited at the airlock. “Sir? Relieved of the Normandy? This isn't right.”

Anderson threw her a tight smile. “Shepard it's alright. You're a spectre and you need a ship. What better ship than the fastest ship in the Alliance hm?”

“It just doesn't feel right,” Shepard countered with a frown.

Anderson placed a hand on her shoulder. “You're ready for this, Commander and the crew will follow you.”

“The Normandy is your ship and you hate politics,” Shepard protested.

Anderson laughed. “Now she's yours. Take good care of her and I will keep myself busy don't you worry, Udina will probably regret asking me to stick around,” he grinned.

She smirked at that. “I'll keep you updated on our progress. It won't be the same without you.”

“You better,” he smiled warmly at Shepard, proud of how far she'd come. “I'll be able to help here, don't worry about me,” he replied.

Shepard wasn't convinced. “Before I go… Harkin said something about you being nominated for spectre a while back?”

Anderson’s face darkened. “Ancient history. Let's just say, Saren made sure I wouldn't make the cut. His report was all the council needed to kill my chances.”

“We'll get him, Captain,” Shepard assured firmly, angered that Saren had been messing in human affairs before he had gone rogue. It seemed the prejudices of the First Contact War went both ways.

“Good luck, Commander,” Anderson stated, giving her a salute which she immediately returned. “Be careful.”

Nodding her head, she stepped back and marched into the Normandy. She ignored the wary glances of the crew at the sight of Garrus and Wrex flanking her and took them down to the cargo bay. “I'm afraid we weren't expecting crew additions, but I've already had dextro food supplied and cots for you to sleep on. I'm sorry I can't offer more right now.”

She gestured to the meager cots resting against the wall.

Garrus inclined his head gratefully. “It's more than enough, Shepard.”

She threw him a smile and turned to Wrex who was already testing out his large cot. “Make yourself at home,” she smirked down at the Krogan who waved her off dismissively with a grin of his own.

Leaving them to it, she headed to her quarters and stripped her armour.

“Commander, all the supplies you asked for have been delivered,” Joker spoke over the ship’s private comm channel. “We’re ready to go when you are.”

“On my way.” Taking a steadying breath, Shepard left her room. Standing behind Joker at the helm she patted his chair.

“Ship-wide comms are ready,” Joker glanced over his shoulder at her.

“This is Commander Shepard, I have been put in command of the Normandy as Captain Anderson’s relief. Our mission is to find and stop Saren and the Geth. We have full authority of the council. This is now a spectre ship but we still adhere to Alliance regs wherever possible. We have nonhuman guests on board for this mission if this is a problem for you; disembark now. This mission is dangerous but I know you will all continue performing admirably. Shepard out.”

She waited for a few moments and when no crew headed for the airlock she gave Joker a small smirk. “I hate doing that.”

“It was good. Filled me with confidence, especially that whole part about the danger, can't wait,” Joker teased sardonically. “I’d get up and applaud but you know, would probably break something.”

Shepard raised an eyebrow. “I'll break something if we're not underway in five, four--”

“Docking clamps released, Commander, just point me in a direction,” Joker chuckled.

“Noveria first. There's been Geth reported there.”

“Urgh freezing cold and deadly AI, Commander you're already taking us to the best places.”

Shepard simply shook her head with an amused smirk, as the ship moved smoothly toward the mass relay. It lurched only slightly at the acceleration and then they were underway.

Feeling tension building in her neck as she walked the decks, Shepard allowed herself a soft weary sigh. It had been one hell of a day. There were still a few hours remaining and she needed to make sure her new crewmates were settling in. Learning more about them was something that she was actually looking forward to but first, she needed a long hot shower.


	3. Liara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Instructed to go to Therum and find an expert in Prothean ruins, Shepard finds more than she bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the dialogue is game canon but much isn't. I may have changed some of what happens to make it flow better in story format but most of the action happens when it does in the game. (I also may have made some errors)
> 
> Mass Effect characters all belong to Bioware. I'm just having some fun with them. 
> 
> A write up of my playthrough. My first game/human fic. ^^;;

**_Therum_ **

After receiving a communique from Anderson, shortly after they had left the Citadel, Shepard had taken his advice and diverted the Normandy to Therum. Matriarch Benezia was rumoured to be on Noveria and if they were going to have any sway with the Asari, then they were going to need help. Liara T’Soni was either going to help them speak to her mother or she was already in league with her, Shepard sincerely hoped for Liara’s sake that it was the former. They couldn't afford to take unnecessary risks on this mission. Her recurring nightmare since the beacon hadn't helped her mood any and she rolled her shoulders to try and ease the tension in her neck. 

“Everything alright, Shepard?” Garrus’ dual larynx rumbled just behind her left shoulder, sending an inappropriate shiver rippling down her spine. 

“Yeah, just working through some tension,” she muttered, not feeling like clarifying any further as the Normandy began her descent. 

“Not a big fan of the mako, Commander?” Tali asked picking up on her discomfort. 

Shepard hit the boosters as the airlock opened and they were launched into free fall. “Seeing as the last time I was in one my entire unit was killed by a thresher maw, you could say that,” Shepard threw Tali a humourless grin before she pressed her lips into a thin line. “I'm sure this time will be fine.” 

“And here I was, worried that you wouldn't take us anywhere nice before you asked us to follow you to hell,” Garrus retorted dryly, breaking the tension.

Shepard let out a sharp laugh as she controlled their descent. It didn't stop the mako from bouncing roughly on its tyres and skidding to a halt abruptly. Letting out a breath, Shepard appraised her team. “Everyone good?” 

Tali and Garrus murmured back their affirmatives, both feeling mildly queasy due to the drop and unconventional landing. Satisfied, Shepard slammed on the accelerator and jammed the mako into gear so forcefully that Garrus winced beside her at the grinding sound. 

Driving the mako, Shepard made short work of the rocky terrain. This meant that she completely ignored it and plowed the poor vehicle ahead at full speed regardless of whether the surface was flat or mountainous. At one point she nearly drove them straight into lava. At least it had felt like that to Garrus, who let out a yell of warning before the mako veered sharply to the right. 

“Yeah yeah I see it,” Shepard muttered, throwing a sidelong glance at him, a smirk dancing over her lips. “Alright there, Vakarian?” 

“Your driving leaves much to be desired, Shepard.”

“It's not that bad --”

“--I think I speak for everyone when I say I'd rather face the Geth right now than be in a mako with you, near lava, Shepard,” Tali interrupted.

Garrus chuckled, covering it up quickly with a cough as he averted his gaze from Shepard’s green-eyed glare. 

“There's an old human saying, be careful what you wish for,” Shepard grumbled as they continued on and a Geth dropship appeared near a heavily armed outpost. “We've got company.” 

“Seems stupid to knock down their front door,” Tali commented leaning over Shepard to peer at the Geth. “I would look for a side window.”

****

It took a great deal of maneuvering and some near misses, with Shepard resorting to running over some Geth, before they finally reached the end of the path the mako could take. On foot, weapons drawn, they made their way to the ruins. 

It was only after a short walk later that they were running for cover as a Geth Colossus and troopers cut off their path. Tali made short work of the troopers by overloading their circuits as Shepard shot them, sending them flying through the air. Garrus, meanwhile, concentrated on the Colossus from his sniper perch, the crack of his weapon reverberating through the air. 

“Shepard, three o clock!” Garrus warned over the comm as he spied a Geth encroaching on the commander’s position. 

Shepard winced as a bullet whizzed past her head so close she practically felt it brush past her hair and she whirled around as a Geth crumpled at her feet. “Nice shooting, Garrus, thanks,” she breathed into her comm.

“Got your six,” he declared firmly. “Troops are down.”

Shepard recovered quickly and issued her order. “Concentrate fire on the big bastard. Don't let it hit you, it'll kill you with one shot, regardless of shields.” 

It took their combined efforts but the Colossus finally succumbed and Shepard stepped out of cover and recovered any ammo she found, distributing it to her team. 

“Injuries?” she demanded quickly. 

“All good here, Shepard,” Tali responded. 

Garrus made his way over to them and Shepard could have sworn he practically swaggered with his impressive sniper rifle held loosely in his gloved three-fingered hands. 

“You good?” she called out, willing the distraction of watching him move, from her mind quickly. 

He inclined his head ever so slightly in the affirmative, his bright eyes fixed on hers for a long moment, that visor probably picking up on everything her body was doing against her will, before Shepard checked herself and turned towards the cave entrance. Leading the way into the ruins, Shepard kept her gun drawn, not willing to take the chance that they were in the clear yet. 

Tali looked around with interest. “It looks like this cavern formed around the ruin. After it was built.” 

“I've never visited a Prothean ruin before, well apart from the Citadel,” Garrus commented casually in response. “Can't say I see what Liara saw in the place. Most Prothean ruins are nothing but dead instrumentation.” A shot rang out and clipped Garrus’ shields at that moment. “I take it back, something is definitely alive,” he declared, far too relaxed as he ducked down lined up a shot and took a Geth trooper’s head off. 

The tunnel was long and dark and cover was limited so they had to move quickly to eliminate the Geth. Sprinting to the elevator once it was clear, they all took the short moments of quiet to check their weapons and shields. Shepard made sure to check them for injuries and slapped some medigel on Garrus where an errant shot had slipped through his armour into his shoulder. “Fuck, why didn't you say anything?” she grumbled.

“It's fine, Shepard, really, I've had much worse,” Garrus commented his tone tinged with amusement as he felt her many small fingers checking him over. Why humans needed so many fingers was baffling to him. 

“Not the point, Garrus, don’t know what we’re up against when this door opens. Small injuries can become fatal ones when you’re stuck in the middle of a firefight. 

Garrus had nothing to say to that and got the distinct impression she was speaking from experience. He swore when she suddenly slapped him good-naturedly on the shoulder where she'd administered the medigel, sending sharp pain through his whole body. “Ready?” Shepard asked, flashing a knowing toothy grin at his narrowed eyed glare, her hard gaze flitting between him and Tali. 

The elevator doors opened and they were immediately bombarded by flying Geth assault drones. 

“Got one!” Garrus called out. 

Shepard rushed forward and took cover before taking her shotgun out and blasting a couple out of the air. 

“Nice,” Tali complimented as she overloaded two at once, the shrapnel from the resulting explosion raining down on them. 

When they were in the clear, Shepard turned her attention to the Asari, trapped in a blue force field. “What the hell?”

“Please, help me, I tried to hide in here from the Geth. The field came on but it needs to be switched off from the outside.” 

Shepard held up her hand to stop her squadmates from heading down the steps. “You're Liara T’Soni?” 

“Yes, aren't you the rescue?”

“Not strictly why we're here, no. We're here for you.” 

“Me? What?”

“Matriarch Benezia,” Shepard stated tersely. “Is apparently in league with a rogue spectre named Saren, who attacked and killed everyone at Eden Prime, including another spectre. 

“What…? My mother, she wouldn't…” Liara seemed uncertain. “Please, I don't know anything about this, I haven't spoken to my mother in some time. We did not always see eye to eye.” 

Shepard softened her tone slightly. “If she is working with him and proves herself a threat, we will have to stop her. We believe they're working with the Geth, searching for Prothean beacons in order to bring back something called the Reapers.”

“The Geth, that's impossible, the Geth don't work with organic life,” Liara replied in disbelief. “By the Goddess, what if that's why they're here?” 

Shepard glanced at her squadmates, dubious, “If I let you out, I need to know you can be trusted.”

“I am not in league with my mother, I don't know what she could be thinking but perhaps I can help you when you find her? I could talk to her.” 

Shepard thought for a moment before nodding her head. “Alright, we'll get you down, you turn on us and I'll put a bullet through your brain.” 

Liara looked at Shepard’s grim unwavering stare, with a mixture of fear and uncertainty. “You have my word. Be careful there are a number of Geth and Krogan!” She warned urgently.

Directing her team down the ramps, Shepard took point and engaged the Geth first. Distracted by the shock troopers she didn't notice the sniper until a weight slammed into her back, knocking the wind out of her in spite of her armour, flattening her on the floor as a bullet whizzed overhead. She stared up at Garrus who carefully shifted his weight off her and immediately shot back, before offering her his hand. Taking it gratefully, she stood and winced, her back protesting. 

“I'm sorry, there was no time,” Garrus apologised as he caught the grimace.

Shepard waved his concern off dismissively, patted his chest and threw him a grateful smile. “Don't worry about it, big guy, I will take a bit of bruising over my head exploding any day of the week. Thanks for having my back, literally.” 

Garrus mandibles fluttered as he returned the smile and they turned just as Tali activated the mining laser and cut a hole in the rock. 

“Let's move,” Shepard ordered. On the other side was an elevator which they rode back up to Liara. Shepard rolled her shoulder, wondering just how much bruising she would have, her back felt like someone had taken a hammer to it. 

Garrus didn't say anything when he saw Shepard shift somewhat uncomfortably. He felt guilty but as she had said before, better a bruise than dead. He watched Shepard as she released Liara and filled her in on what had happened. Liara was shocked at the mention of Shepard’s vision from the Prothean beacon. She had uncovered less in her years of research than Shepard had in 5 seconds of forced contact. 

“Commander,” Joker’s voice cut in over the comm. “You're going to have to get out of there, my readings show that the whole cave is becoming unstable.” 

“Liara?” 

“The tower, Shepard, we need to go up the elevator.” 

“Joker, rendezvous at the top of the tower, we'll be there in five,” Shepard commanded, rushing through the cave to the tower elevator. Once on, she activated it and it climbed painfully slowly as the mines began to crumble around them.

“Nothing like a close call,” Shepard quipped as they leapt from the elevator platform onto the steadier ground of the tower. 

“Enemy spotted!” Garrus barked before anyone could respond. “Krogan,” he growled out as they all ducked behind cover. 

Shepard looked at their options. “ Garrus, move ahead to my left, stay low, Tali and I will distract them, you take their heads off. Liara, stay out of sight. Don't let them get within charging distance. Move!” 

Shepard vaulted over her cover and let her shotgun fire into the first Krogan as she ran closer before veering off to the right with Tali fast on her heel. 

Garrus wasted no time in taking the shot. It took three bullets to take the first Krogan down. “One down!” he announced over their comm. Shepard’s grunt of pain sounded through the speaker as he heard Tali yell, “He's charging!” 

Sprinting across the room, Garrus arrived in time to see Shepard dart out of the way of a charging Krogan. As he turned she leapt on his back and fired several rounds into his hump, both of them slumping to the floor. 

“Shepard!” Garrus called out her name in alarm, as the human commander's small body was buried beneath the massive Krogan,  

“Will somebody please get this heavy fucker off me!” Shepard wheezed. 

Tali and Garrus shoved the dead Krogan off the Commander and Garrus peered down at her with bemusement. “Taking on a Krogan single handed, not the best idea, Shepard.” 

Shepard snorted and held out her hand expectantly. “Which one of us is lying in a pool of our own blood, Garrus?” she retorted as he hauled her to her feet, his superior strength bringing her flush to his chest, pulling a surprised gasp from her. 

“Point taken,” his mandibles flared with amusement as he gazed down at her, noticing how green her eyes were as he privately marvelled at her tenacity. How someone so small and squishy could take out a Krogan was beyond him. Suddenly realising they were stood flush to one another, he quickly released her hand out of respect and mild embarrassment. He noted her pale skin had flushed a light pink colour and his visor picked up the increase of her heartbeat. He didn't know what either meant for a human so he decided to add that to his research on humans later. The Commander was full of surprises it seemed and a seemingly bottomless pit of stubborn strength. “Wrex is going to be sorry he missed this.” 

“Let's go before this whole place collapses and you never get chance to regale him with my idiocy,” Shepard ordered. 

“Careful, Shepard, Wrex might see it as a challenge,” Tali added with an amused lilt to her voice as Liara joined them, looking a little shaken up. 

“So much skirting on that line of insubordination. Remind me why I'm working with a bunch of aliens again?” Shepard retorted dryly as they made their way to the Normandy.

“Our endearing charm and limitless wit, of course,” Garrus declared smugly, his deep voice reverberating through Shepard’s bones in a not entirely unpleasant way. 

****

**_Normandy - Briefing Room_ **

Liara looked stunned after Tali finished playing the audio recording of Benezia and Saren talking. “I can't believe it…” she murmured, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “As I said before, I haven't spoken to my mother in some time. The woman I know wouldn't do this. There must be something more,” she suggested, her eyes meeting Shepard's.  

“I think the evidence speaks for itself,” Kaidan spoke up, defensively. 

Shepard spared him a glance, she sympathised with Liara’s situation, she knew all too well how contentious the relationship between a mother and daughter could be. She could only imagine the turmoil Liara was going through. “What they're saying about the Reapers, could that be true?” 

Liara frowned thoughtfully, “I have spent a good portion of my life studying the Prothean extinction. The evidence suggests they may not have been the first civilisation to mysteriously vanish.” she looked at Shepard, “You said you had a vision from a Prothean beacon, surely you know more than I?” 

Shaking her head with a frown, Shepard quickly brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Honestly having trouble making any sense of it, it's a jumbled mess of horrifying images,” she admitted with a deep frown. 

Liara stood. “Perhaps I can help, if we join minds, I can maybe help organise the memories or at least make some connection with the knowledge of the Protheans that I have. May I?” 

Shepard hesitated. The thought of someone in her thoughts was unnerving. She also knew that this was something intimate, done with Asari mates or lovers. Self consciously, she discreetly glanced around the briefing room. “Alright, let's do this.” 

Liara met her in the middle of the room and placed a hand on Shepard’s face, drawing her closer before their foreheads touched. 

Flinching as the vision assaulted her mind, Shepard gritted her teeth and pushed through it. It felt like it lasted for an age but only a few seconds later they staggered apart with a gasp. Shepard held her head and shook it. “You saw it?” 

Looking suddenly like she was going to pass out, Liara closed her eyes tightly. “By the Goddess,” she gasped. “How is your mind able to retain this?” she murmured. 

“With painkillers,” Shepard returned almost dismissively. “It's not that bad unless I'm actually having the vision.” 

“It is… it is a warning… the Reapers and the destruction of everything.”

“Do you think Saren can bring back the Reapers?” 

Liara met Shepard’s earnest gaze. “He must believe he can if he has seen this--”

“--he has,” Shepard interrupted tersely. 

“Then we have more to worry about than a rogue spectre,” Liara stated. “Please excuse me, I need to go lie down, process the memory...I--” 

“--Take all the time you need,” Shepard answered. She looked to everyone else and hesitated a moment before speaking. 

“Are you alright, Shepard?” Garrus asked his head tilting slightly with concern.

Hearing the soft note of worry, evident in his sub vocals, Shepard threw him a small smile of gratitude and pushed off the table she was leaning on. “We’re on the clock, people, do what you need to do, be ready. Joker?”

“Commander,” Joker’s voice sounded through the comm. “Sorry to interrupt but I have a message from Fifth fleet for you.”

“Alright, hold off on the course change for now. Patch it through,” Shepard looked at the mismatched bunch of aliens she called her team. “Everyone, you're dismissed.” 

“Aye, Commander.”


	4. Family Values

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to Luna in the Sol System.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy N7 day everyone! 
> 
> I wanted to post an update for this day. My Master's dissertation is kicking my ass but I'm in the home run now so hopefully, I can get back to writing again after Christmas time. Wish me luck (I'll need it).

_ Luna - Sol System _

“I thought AI research was illegal?” Tali commented as the Mako bounced over the lunar surface. 

“It is. Don't worry the Alliance isn't trying to create some kind of new Geth here,” Shepard replied. “This is the base VI that has apparently gone rogue.”

“How does a VI go rogue anyway?” Garrus asked with a flick of his mandibles. 

“When it gains self-awareness,” Tali replied grimly. “In our experience anyway, that's how it started with the Geth.” 

Shepard chewed her lip, there was a comforting thought. 

“What a relief, I thought we only had Saren to deal with,” Garrus drawled. 

“It's not aware. It's just… corrupted and we're going to shut it down,” Shepard interjected firmly. 

“That's what we thought,” Tali commented softly. 

“Not helping the sense of impending doom, Tali.” Garrus responded flatly. 

“Shit!” Shepard swore suddenly, swinging the mako into a spin as rockets from three separate locations smashed into the side of it. 

“We're taking damage!” Garrus hollered as he manned the gun and returned fire. “Can't get a clear shot if we're moving in circles.”

“No shit! We're dead if I stop!” Shepard retorted. “Hang on! Getting us closer to the first turret.” Shepard put her faith in the Mako's shields as they took fire from the other two turrets while taking out the third. She then whipped the mako round and accelerated out of range in order to give the shields chance to recover. 

“That was a close one,” Tali commented with relief. 

“Yeah, glad you got to work on the old girl, Garrus,” Shepard patted the dashboard. “Probably saved our asses with those improved shields.” 

Garrus, while silently thrilled at the compliment, chose to brush it off. “Fortunately, I am very aware of your propensity to drive us directly at the enemy, Shepard,” his mandibles fluttered in a grin when she pinned him with a deadpanned look. “Got to prepare for anything,” he added with a smirk. 

“Just keeping pushing, Vakarian,” Shepard retorted, a smirk playing across her lips as she rammed the mako into gear and raced towards the two remaining turrets. 

Tali simply looked between her two squadmates mildly befuddled. How they could exchange banter at a time like this was beyond her. 

****

Once inside the lunar base, they made short work of the VI by blowing the power conduits. Downloading the data core, Shepard ordered them back to the Normandy and had already started stripping off her armour once inside the airlock. 

“Got another message from fifth fleet, Commander,” Joker declared over the comm. 

“What now?” Shepard grumbled. 

“Does the Alliance not have other capable operatives on its payroll?” Garrus mused sardonically. 

“I'm honestly beginning to wonder,” Shepard grumbled. “Put Hacket through at the galaxy map, Joker, I'll be there in five.” 

****

As she had suspected it was another menial mission. This time a probe had crashed having been shot down by the Geth and the data module the Alliance needed had gone down with it. Shepard shook her head as she ordered Joker to divert to the Atticus Beta cluster. She still needed to check out Geth reports on Feros as well, so it made sense to kill two birds with one stone. 

Thankfully, it would take them a few hours to reach the system so Shepard decided to do the rounds and ensure that her crew were all settling in. The first stop on her list was the mess. Shepard was starving, realising that she hadn't eaten anything since before Therum. Dr. Chakwas would not be pleased with her she thought with a smile. 

Grabbing some food, she sat with a couple of her crew. Engineer Adams was chatting animatedly with Tali about the engines which made Shepard smile. Ashley came in a few moments later and was about to join her when Wrex entered the room. Shepard frowned at Ashley’s sudden excuse and abrupt exit. The woman was evidently more xenophobic than Shepard had anticipated and she would need to deal with that and soon. 

Wrex on the other hand, couldn't have cared less. Krogan were used to getting mistreated and being the brunt of discrimination and blatant racism. He sat heavily near Shepard and began to eat. He could tell the attitudes of her human crew bothered Shepard, that only made her more unusual for a human. “So I thought we were chasing down Saren, not playing errand boy for the Alliance,” he stated bluntly. Wrex had never been afraid to put his hand in the fire. 

Shepard huffed and shoved a forkful of food into her mouth. “We'll get him, but this is still an Alliance ship.” 

She sounded resigned and Wrex simply rumbled a low chuckle. “You know you can operate outside of their regs now right?” 

“Better not to ruffle feathers at this point. Might need the Alliance’s help and I'm not even close to burning that bridge.”

“Burning what now?” Wrex was confused. Humans spoke in riddles sometimes. Before he could respond further, Shepard had started asking him questions. It surprised him that she seemed genuinely interested in the plight of his people and in him personally. Without intending to, he had regaled her with the story of having his family armour stolen by Turians. While the armour was junk now, it did hold some sentimental value to him, not that Wrex would openly admit that. 

“Do you know where they took it?” 

Wrex met Shepard's gaze and shrugged. “I have a good idea. Was going to follow it up after dealing with Saren.” 

“Give me the coordinates.” 

“Huh?” 

“I'll take you, we'll get your family armour back.”

“Shepard it's not important I can handle--”

“--I’ll help. Family is important,” she insisted. “We'll do it after this mission, get it out of the way and give you peace of mind.” 

Wrex sent the coordinates to her omni tool and threw the commander a smirk. “Appreciate it,” He rumbled graciously.

She waved at him dismissively. “Don't worry, better now right? Who knows what we'll be facing when we finally run into Saren. Could all be killed,” she grinned at him widely, before continuing to eat.

Wrex couldn't help but compare her toothy smile to that of a predator who had honed in on her prey. He laughed loudly at her casual statement. Her willingness to accept the very real potentiality of death made her sound almost like a Krogan. “You know, I think I'm beginning to like you, Shepard.”

**** 

The data module mission had come with its own surprises. Shepard had not anticipated having to chase monkeys all over a planet and by the time they had reached the final monkey colony, she had inadvertently run over a couple of monkeys with her overzealous driving. Of course, Garrus and Kaidan would not let her live it down and were currently regaling the entire embarrassing episode to the entire mess. Their exuberance and incessant giggling at the shared image of Shepard trying to chase down and grab a monkey that was refusing to be caught had drawn in most of the crew. 

Half amused and half embarrassed, Shepard was glad that at least something had brightened their mood and that most of her crew were integrating well with the alien members of her team. She couldn't keep the nagging worry that time was not on their side, though, it continued to eat at her, ceaselessly, never letting her fully relax. Discreetly, Shepard excused herself from the mess. 

She took the elevator to the observation deck and sank onto the sofa that looked out onto space. The images from the prothean probe they had run into on the planet plagued her. She had recognised the beast in the sky. It hadn't been Prothean. It had matched Sovereign, Saren’s ship and that filled her with a cold dread. She had no idea what it meant and could only rub her temples in frustration, fighting back another headache. Sleep had not been easy recently, not since Eden Prime. The nightmares borne from the images of Reapers, disturbed her dreams. Sighing, she hung her head and rested her arms on her knees, weariness creeping over her. She did not want to sleep. 

She stiffened when the door opened but relaxed a fraction when her eyes fell on Garrus as he approached. “Hey, Garrus, finished humiliating your commander?” she smirked, well aware that he was not technically her subordinate.

Garrus canted his head, his mandibles fluttering. “For now,” he drawled with amusement. “Not as funny if you're not there to throw some acerbic retort in my face, though.”

She chuckled with him before turning to look out at the black expanse as they travelled to Wrex’s coordinates. Feros could wait a little while longer, her crew always came first. “Yeah, sorry… just had reports to finish,” she lied. “Did you need something? What can I help you with?” she asked quickly. 

“Actually,” he sat down beside her on the sofa. “I came to see if you needed anything.” 

“Me?” 

“You've been under a lot of pressure. It can't be easy and the Alliance has you running all over the galaxy. You've barely had a chance to breathe,” he continued, the flanging effect of his voice growing more pronounced as he revealed his irritation. 

Shepard shook her head and tried to brush it off. “It's just the job, Garrus, I'm alright. Had to expect more responsibility with being the first human spectre, right?” she smiled wryly.

“First human spectre, sure,” Garrus agreed. “But you're still only human, Shepard,” he held up his hand as she opened her mouth to protest. “That isn't an insult. I just mean even you need to take a break sometimes even if it's just to catch up on some sleep.” 

Shepard sat back on the sofa and huffed a humourless laugh. “Yeah sleep and I aren't exactly on speaking terms right now.” 

Garrus was mildly surprised by the admittance and how Shepard suddenly appeared briefly vulnerable before it was gone, once more replaced by the firmly set jaw and steely determination in her green eyes. “Trouble sleeping?” he prompted gently. 

“Something like that,” Shepard started before hesitating. “Probably isn't healthy to have 50,000-year-old technology forcing images of Armageddon into your brain.” 

“Nightmares,” Garrus understood. Turians generally didn't suffer from nightmares although they could happen. Humans were more prone to them than other species he had encountered though. 

“Nightmares,” Shepard repeated, surprised at how tired she suddenly felt. 

Garrus could see that Shepard was near exhausted. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line, her green eyes seemed dim and far away. “Anything I can do to help?” 

Shepard threw him a grateful smile and shook her head. “Not unless you've already caught Saren?” she quipped. 

Garrus chuckled at that and sat back to. “Like I could do that by myself.” 

“Oh I don't know, I've seen you shoot,” Shepard nudged his arm playfully.

Smirking, Garrus gave her a sidelong glance. “I do bring a certain style to your team don't I?” Shepard laughed brightly and patted his chest with her many-fingered hand. 

“That you do, Vakarian,” she continued chuckling. “Where would I be without your snark and insubordination hm?” 

“Probably more well-rested, but with an inferior cover on your six” Garrus returned. 

Shepard met his gaze for a moment and gave him a smile. “I'm glad you joined this mission, Garrus, even if I am leading you to fight unknown and potentially galaxy-ending odds.” 

“As am I,” he replied softly. 

Neither spoke for a while and Garrus glanced down at Shepard as he felt a weight press against his shoulder. The Commander had fallen asleep, her head on his shoulder and he loathed to wake her. He settled himself on the sofa, listening to her deep even breathing and gazed out into space. He pondered their future and what dangers lay before them but was grateful that for this stolen moment of time, Shepard could sleep against him, without being plagued by her nightmares and responsibilities. Stealing a glance at her again, he felt a protective feeling stir and coil inside of him. He wanted to protect her, help her, ease her burden in this fight. He'd grown to respect her immensely in a short space of time, as a commander and a soldier he could trust by his side and that took him by surprise as it normally took him much longer to trust others. His gloved talons gently brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen over her face and was fascinated by how soft it felt.  He hoped that in some way, he had played a small part in helping lighten the crushing weight of the galaxy, Shepard carried squarely on her shoulders.

****

Shepard was surprised to wake up in the observation lounge beside Garrus. The Turian was asleep beside her and she carefully extricated herself from his side, where she had curled herself into. Feeling oddly vulnerable, she still couldn't help gazing at his face as he slept. She must have fallen asleep on his shoulder, most unlike her. Yet, he hadn't moved, hadn't wanted to disturb her, she smiled softly at that and was grateful to have managed a couple of hours rest at least. 

“Arriving at the coordinates in ten, Commander,” Joker announced. 

Shepard sighed and smiled ruefully at Garrus as he stirred and stretched. 

“Duty calls,” he rumbled drowsily. 

“Never stops,” she replied. “Um… sorry about crashing on you there,” she rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. 

Garrus flared his mandibles as he smiled at her. “No nightmares I hope?” 

Ducking her head, she smoothed down the ruffled shock of red hair and smiled. “No nightmares…” 

“Good.”

A heavy yet comfortable silence fell between them before Shepard regained her composure and stood. “I'd like you on the squad to help get Wrex’s armour back. Some of them might be Turians so you'll have more experience with their tactics,” she stood. 

Garrus followed suit and stretched. She had chosen him for almost every mission and he certainly felt bolstered by her confidence in him. He caught her subtle gaze linger on his body as he did so and he couldn't help an approving subharmonic hum. Immediately, he chastised himself for such an inappropriate thought and was eminently glad that human hearing wasn't as sharp as Turians. “Understood, Shepard. You can count on me.”

She had turned towards the door but paused to glance back at him with a small smile, one that made her seem so much smaller, so much more human and less of the formidable Commander Shepard he'd come to know. It was filled with a warmth Garrus couldn't place. “I know,” she stated softly, in a way that inexplicably made Garrus’ heart beat faster. Then the moment was gone and she was Commander Shepard once more. It happened so quickly Garrus doubted whether it actually had happened at all. 

“Coming Garrus?” Shepard prompted, holding the door open for him when she discovered he hadn't followed her. 

“Right behind you, Shepard.” 


End file.
